Late Night Vibes: Sleep With Me Edition

ADAM CECIL:

Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and drinkers of Night Water... it's time for a special late night vibe from Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep?

Well then you may really appreciate Sleep With Me. Every episode of Sleep With Me is a bedtime story from the creaky dulcet tones of Scooter. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. And Scooter does the rest.

Scooter has been a good friend of mine from the podcast world for a few years now and I'm so excited that he made an entire episode of Sleep With Me about Night Water. I don’t want to sound too excited in case it ruins the sleepy vibes but trust me when I say… I’m excited.

This bedtime story is a really fun look at some Night Water posts from the last year, and for me, really entertaining to listen to while awake, but for you, I hope it helps you fall asleep.

If it does, please head over to sleepwithmepodcast.com and subscribe to Sleep With Me wherever you listen to podcasts. There are over 1000 episodes, I think even more on the Patreon as well, so you'll never run out of bedtime stories.

And now... oh... I'm getting a signal... seems like it's from a radio station... let's tune in.

[INTRO MUSIC]

DEAREST SCOOTER:

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts on your mind from the past, the present, the future, could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally from the past, the present, the future that’s just there, it could be physical sensations or things going on physically. It could be changes in time, it could be inconsistent temperature.

There’s not much that keeps me awake more than inconsist…or at least, it caused me to think about why I’m not…inconsistent temperature or temperature out of your control, or just the temperature…you say, that’s not doing it for me. So, it could be one of those, it could be something else. There’s a lot of different things; travel, stuff going on. Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so that you could fall asleep. The way I’m gonna do it here is I have a safe place set aside. I can send it, I can bring it, or you could look at it from afar, but I smooth it, I pat it, I rub it down, just like BBD would say, and then I put my hands out and I say, there’s your safe place. I’ll be wherever you need me to be, or not anywhere around.

You go check it out, or I could deliver it to you. So, and also along with that, I send my voice across the deep, dark night here. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, which…creaky, dulcet; that’s something that may be eventually soothing. You say, it’s not traditionally soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, but they could be sooth…they may be soothing to you. More distracting than soothing. Somewhat calming, somewhat soothing, most…but definitely creaky and dulcet. Creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. What that means is I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, then I’m gonna get confused, then I’m gonna remember something, then I’ll go on a tangent, and I’ll never get to the point. Then I’ll…oh, wait a second…let me think about that point I was gonna get to.

I’ll get to more…I get to a lot more nubs than points. Nubs; I’ve had a few. I have one on my head, the back of my head. I have a nub. It’s been a while since we’ve talked about my nub. It’s some sort of vestigial thing. It’s not at the base of my skull. Here’s a good thing; if you wear a baseball hat with the plastic thing, that’s my nub…just happens to be just right where you would put that. My nub…it hooks on my nub. That was one of my country hits I never wrote; Hooks on my Nub. It didn’t…I realized I can’t sing or play any instruments, and I don’t really know that much about country music other than making up titles. So, it didn’t come out at all. I mean, it came out briefly in my imagination. I think Emmett Otter’s jug band was singing it, Hooks on my Nub.

They said, it’s not really…they said, hooks…this is what Emmett Otter said; sit down, Scooter. Let me talk to you. The image in my mind when I hear about hooks on my nub is not the same as a hat…and I said Emmett, could I try on your hat and see if it hooks on my nub? Them Emmett Otter said the weight of my hat doesn’t need to…it doesn’t need to hook on anything because it’s a heavy winter cap or hat. Emmett said anyway, getting back to what I was saying, Scooter…Hooks on my Nub, it’s…it does…it could have a good…it could be a good hook in a song, but when I…as a song title, I just think about what…you say, what does that even mean? I say, but Emmett, when you’re singing along with it, you don’t care what it means. Hooks on my Nub; I can picture two of us singing along together. Oh, Emmett…I lost Emmett.

I think Emmett may have disconnected this call. Calling from a washtub. You say, how do you make a tin-can phone into a speakerphone? Use a washtub. Learned that from Emmett Otter, everybody. I’ll be here tonight, all night, probably. But that’s true; that was actually the first joke that actually has kind of a punchline I’ve ever thought of on the podcast. Usually I only think of one or the other. I know it’s not quite there, those of you that actually write jokes and are good at that kind of stuff, but it would be a speakerphone, right? So, I guess more I created a new…I’ve created a new device.

For all those kids in 80s…or whatever, movies with best friends that just happen to live across one yard that’s long enough for strings, or if you’re in some sort of early rom-com prequel part, you could use…I mean, I guess you wouldn’t want…if you…you wouldn’t want to use it because usually tin-can phone conversations are inherently private. So, those are pointless meanders. I did those on purpose just so you could see that…what they look like. I do all this to keep you company so that you could fall asleep. Now, if you’re new, I want to give you a lot of information because if you’re new, of course you might arrive here skeptical or doubtful or frustrated. Those are natural ways to arrive at this show. I mean, if you’ve been having trouble sleeping, makes sense.

If you’ve tried other stuff to fall asleep, that makes sense. Then if you’re actually listening to me, of course you’re gonna be frustrated and confused and a little bit skeptical, ‘cause that all makes sense. We’ve all tried different things to fall asleep. Not everything’s worked. Very few things have worked consistently, and the thing is, this podcast doesn’t even work for everybody. It only works for the people it works for, and on top of that, doesn’t even work on the first try for almost anyone. It doesn’t even work on the second try for almost anyone. For most regular listeners, it took two or three tries because the show is very different. So, if you’re having strong feelings about it or you’re doubtful or skeptical, that makes total sense.

So, I’m gonna keep giving you more information not even to lower your skepticism, just to talk directly to it, because it makes perfect sense. So, oh, so this…what can be…oh, let me give you one piece why I make the show before we talk about the skepticism and the doubt. Whether you listen to this show or not from this point on, you deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s the most important thing I can say to any prospective listener, current listener, long-time listener, or never…even if you’re never gonna listen again, it doesn’t change the fact you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a safe place and…where you could fall asleep and drift off without it feeling like a rigmarole or something you dread.

You really do deserve that, and if I can help provide that or send you on the way, this show doesn’t work for you, you don’t like me or my style, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou; there’s plenty of other stuff there you could check out, sleep podcasts, sleep audio. So, but all that said, if you get the rest you need, your life’s gonna be more manageable, your life’s gonna be better. That makes our world a better place to be in when your world’s a better place to be in. So, that is important to me. Also on the other side, I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up early, all those things. I know how they all feel, so if I can help you, it’s important to me for those two reasons.

Now, a couple things to know; one, this is a podcast you just barely listen to. You can listen, but you don’t need to. So, if you want to start out listening loosely or just barely following along just like if you were looking at clouds in the sky or if you’re going leaf-peeping in the autumn, you say okay, well, kinda looking all…what…like, if you’re driving on a leaf-peeping trip, you bare…you’re just barely peeping at the leaves, right? You’re just trying to catch a peep at a stop light or when you’re stopping for cider or other…I’m not even recording this in the autumn, which is funny, but other autumnal activities. So, just kinda barely listen. This show also does not put you to sleep. It’s here to keep you company in the deep, dark night so you could fall asleep.

I’m here to take your mind off of stuff, and because for a lot of us, even those of us that have partners sleeping in the same bed or a family sleeping in the same house, it can feel real lonely. So, my job is to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-friend, your bore-bud, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore to keep you company while you drift off, to take your mind off of stuff, just like if you gave me a call or I called you. You say, just talk about nothing for a while. Oh, that’s why you invented the tin-can speakerphone, so that I didn’t have to hold it to my ear. Solved all my problems. Yeah, if I’m ever in a movie, that’s what I’ll be doing; talking to you by…I’ll be on a tin can but you’ll be on a…you’ll be listening…Listening on a Washtub; that was my second country song.

That was the first one that I heard from Emmett Otter’s representatives. I said, listen onto my…they said, I Love to Listen on a Washtub is the same as Ain’t No Hole in a Washtub. Then I said, thank goodness you’re in my imagination only, then, because that would…sounds like you got me. Okay, so…oh, so this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. Here’s the thing, though; if you can’t sleep, I’m here to the very end to keep you company, whether you’re awake or asleep. That’s really what works about the show. I’m here for you so that you don’t have to listen. But you could listen, and that’s a little counterintuitive, so that is why it takes a few tries to get used to the show. It also takes a while to get used to the structure of the show, but it is very specific.

The way podcasts come out is like, I can design the show to help the most number of people most of the time. But then you can kind of adjust how you listen as you become a regular listener, but the structure of the show…let me walk you through it. It starts out with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls so you feel welcomed in, you feel seen. You say okay, this might be a safe place I could be comfortable in. Then there’s support; sponsor support, listener support, because that way the show is free. So you say okay, I could try it out and it’s free, and it comes out twice a week with new episodes twice a week, and there’s over 400 old episodes to listen to. Okay, that’s what the sponsors and the listeners who support the show enable us to do.

Then there’s support for listeners if you’re having a tough time, there’s support for the communities around the show, then there’s our intro. So, the support can really get some people, but it’s like okay, I’d prefer the show be free whenever you want it. So, that’s like…I say okay, that’s the…how we do that. Then there’s the intro, which goes from, whatever, minute eight to minute twenty, and some people think the support and the intro are the same thing, but the intro is where I introduce the podcast to new listeners. I don’t do it in a concise way, which regular listeners recognize. They say okay, this is good; I got this…twenty minutes time to start my wind-down. So, that’s really why the intro goes on and on and on.

It just happens to be that I’m really good at never getting to the point successfully and getting distracted by, you know, whatever, autumn or Emmett Otter or whatever it is. But that also lends some time so that you have a transition from when you’re awake to when you’re trying to go to sleep. This is the middle time, twilight. So, some listeners are getting ready for bed, some are doing some sort of chill activity, some listeners are asleep. Oh, aren’t we happy for them? Some listeners are in bed getting comfortable, petting their pets, balming their elbows, knitting, hooking, cross-stitching, drawing, doodling. Whatever it is, the intro is here to ease you intro bedtime. So, it is a show within a show that some people…about 2% of people skip it.

A few thousand people listen to story-only shows on Patreon, but a few thousand people also like listening to all-intro episodes. So, kinda see how it goes if you’re new, but kinda look at it like a slow turndown of the volume. That’s what the intro does. Then there’s sponsors between the intro and the show, the episode. Again, that’s how we do it twice a week for free. Then there will be our episode. Tonight it’ll be a bedtime story based on a newsletter that a friend of mine makes called Night Water. How perfect…what perfect collaboration could there be? My friend Adam’s newsletter…I always want to say blog. I can remember when my therapist called the podcast the blogcast. I said, I…you do such good work, but I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to keep coming back anymore. This was years ago.

But at the same time, podcast was a pretty used word. I said, I’m sorry, did you…? I guess we’re gonna have to do the meta-therapy. Did you just say blogcast? I didn’t do that, which I probably should talk about in therapy. I just said I’ll never be able to get over this one, so might as well just skip over it and move on. But we’re gonna be talking about Adam…we’re gonna be doing a kinda show based on Adam’s newsletter, Night Water, so that’s gonna be really fun. Then there’s the thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show, that’s kinda how you could kinda see how it goes. Give it a few tries because I really hope it does help you out — it really is important to me — or that you find something else and you establish your own bedtime routine and you get the rest you need and you deserve. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.

Alright, hey everybody, it’s Scoots here and I’m…this is a…this is…this episode coming up, it’s a crossover kinda episode, kind of. It’s a little bit different and it’ll be fun ‘cause it’s something we haven’t done before. So, I’m really excited about it. It’s a crossover with a project my friend Adam Cecil’s been working on for a while. It’s a newsletter; it’s called Night Water. You could sign up at nightwater.email. Adam’s been somebody that’s helped me out throughout the history of the podcast. I’ve worked with him in a lot of different capacities, but he’s also been there to kinda walk me through stuff and listen to me and give me his guidance and wisdom. But beyond that is that Adam really has a taste and a sensibility that I think a lot of us share. He’s into some cool stuff, and Night Water kinda I guess represents that.

So, we’re gonna…I guess without further ado, I’m gonna send things off. If you get comfortable, you get cozy, if your eyes aren’t closed, maybe you close your eyes and you picture me sitting there, and I’m tuning the dial on a radio. I’m tuning it in, and the night air is a little bit thicker. It’s one of those wee hours, but I’m in a good place. I’m tuning the dial. I’m saying oh, boy. I’m settling in, I’m getting excited, and there’s a slight pause as you hear Scoots start winding down, and then you hear welcome to SWQ, your radio all night long. Radio Night Water. Tonight’s show, like every show; a call-in from around the world, or right…your neighbors nearby may be calling in here at Radio NWQ. That’s Night Water.

We used to have a W or a K, but then we went to the…they said the airwaves alone couldn’t handle the questions we get at Night Water, so now I’m handling it for you. We’ve got questions…you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers here at Radio Night Water. Oh boy, do I love saying Radio Night Water. Night Water, the only place water and radios mix at night or during the day. Don’t actually…we…it’s more of a figure of speech. We’ve got a couple questions here. Let’s see. Here’s the first question that came in; hey, Radio Night Water, what is the worst possible song you could include in a commercial for a place that rents out homes that you…instead of…that you may rent and that you may rent to use like you would a hotel room, but it’s a home or an apartment or a condo? I say oh boy, that reminds me.

We did this research back in March of 2021, and…because the…a song you would say probably you shouldn’t choose would be Forever Young. Maybe even put it acoustically, but don’t listen to the lyrics, you know, because if you do…or you say, wasn’t there a time Scoots said that…and I say, let’s not comment on the movie Forever Young, because yes, I saw the movie, yes, it starred the great Julia Roberts, but it was a movie that I think I went to as a third wheel, so that’s why I have strong feelings about it, not because of the quality of the film or the song, neither of which would be promote…good to promote vacation homes, but because, yeah, it was probably…one of my friends was on a date with someone that I had a crush on and they said, why don’t you…since you…since I asked you…since you were friends with her but secretly in love with her…then I told you I liked her and then she also said that she liked me, why don’t you come along with us on our date?

Wouldn’t that be fun? I’d say okay, I guess so. Maybe it’ll be…so, what movie are you going to see? Oh, it doesn’t matter, ‘cause we’ll be…you’ll be sitting…can you sit, like, two seats away from us, though? ‘Cause there may be face-to-face contact. I mean, you could sit two seats away; that way…okay. So, you don’t…could I pick…? Oh no, no, no, we’re going to see Forever Young. It’s a movie about something. I don’t know. They said it’s a good one. Oh, okay. I didn’t…doesn’t seem…I saw the commercial for it, though. Also, it’s based on a song, I think. So, that’s the song you don’t want to use, and you could read more about it at Night Water. Other songs include Landslide, which again, you’d say okay, that’s probably not one you’d want, whether it’s…it’s definitely not a good idea.

Another song you might not want to use is I Will Always Love You, whether it’s Dolly Parton or Whitney or whatever. You say okay, does that…? So, yeah, probably don’t choose any of those. There’s also some…and other ones that people said maybe they’ll use Tears in Heaven next. So, you should probably…here’s the thing; it’s…I know it’s tough. Well, here’s something…and I don’t know if we looked into this, but it’s like, just ‘cause you have the rights to use the song or your boss said we just got the rights to Forever Young for 80,000 times what we pay you a year to use in our commercial…you could say, did you already pay for them? Yeah, it’s my favorite song. When I listen to it, I pretend I’m an airplane and I fly around. That reminds me, actually, of the book I just finished. A really good book.

I don’t know why I’m laughing; there’s literally nothing funny about it, but that was…I don’t know. I love reading, I love fiction, I love being on Radio Night Water. I love going off-topic and making it about me. But I just read Ishiguro’s book Never Let Me Go, which is based on song lyrics. I don’t know if…I never looked it up whether it was an imaginary song…a fictional song or not, and how music and dance…weird that I would…while I’m…anyway, so, Radio Night Water, we forgot where we were. But good book; I really highly recommend it. By the way, I haven’t seen the film and I probably won’t, just…not because…I mean, unless somebody else…unless you’re out there and I have a crush on you and you’re…you also have a crush on the person I have a crush on and you have a crush on my friend, I don’t think that’s…that situation hopefully doesn’t exist.

Oh boy, now I’m thinking it…we could go see it if it was replaying, maybe to help me through a process, but I would probably say no, I’m not…the most healthy answer for me would be like, no, I don’t think I’m gonna go. I would…I guess I wouldn’t say anything ‘cause I wouldn’t want to ruin your budding romance, but I also don’t want to sit next to you. You say Scoots, how many times has that happened to you? I would say, no joke…let’s see, I could think eighth grade for sure. Probably…oh, sixth grade, eighth grade…I don’t…I can’t recall it. Oh, seventh grade…no, no. Okay, seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth for sure. I think it happened twice with Julia Roberts movies. Maybe there was another one, not…again, not a comedy one.

So, anyway, right here at Radio Night Water, answering your questions, getting them answered the best we can off-topic at night. Okay, we got another one, and this one is interesting ‘cause you may hear more about Adam and I talking about this in the future, but what about HitClips? You remember HitClips? You don’t remember them? Well, we’ll tell you all about them. Once upon a time, we…our phones were not as smart as they find themselves to be, and you had to have separate devices. I know some people out there, they still use separate devices for separate things. But they used to have…back then, they weren’t even solid state; you had…you’ve heard about my relationship with my iPod and Carole King and how she’s spiritual…her spiritual essence found its way to the algorithm in my iPod.

But yeah, a lot of people had iPods. They were about the size of a deck of playing cards, or you had smaller ones. But let’s just go with that one. People would curate their music, or maybe you would share music, and people like Adam, here in the station here at Radio Night Water, making everything happen, used to even meticulously fill out the metadata fields. Old Scoots, he had that on his list. Still on my list to do is fill out those metadata fields. Some of them I did, and then I filled them out wrongly, so then I said one day I’ll do it. We live in a world, at least when I’m recording this, where you could kinda list…as long as you pay, whatever, nine, ten bucks a month, which is a pretty good deal…maybe it’s fifteen; I don’t know, but you could listen to whatever you want for the most part, and the metadata’s already there.

But Adam points out to us, is that really your music, you know? There’s a different connection. But oh boy, way back in the original Aughts, the double 0, that was when you could get your hits on a clip with HitClips. I have a box of HitClips here. Is it exciting times. Now, some of you listening are from my generation, maybe, maybe even a generation before, maybe a generation a little bit after. So, you had your records, you had your cassette tapes, you had your CDs, and somewhere during that transition…actually, Adam and I had a conversation about it…that’s when HitClips appeared. HitClips were tiny keychain-sized cartridges. Millions of units sold before they were discontinued in 2004. Now, they could only contain 60 seconds of song…of a song until HitClips Disc came out in 2003, which was 120 seconds.

They were in mono and the earliest players were just a piece of plastic with a reader, I guess an amplifier with just one headphone, though at some point you could get a boom box. The earbud was wired permanently to the plastic body, and Adam even says that it was hard to connect from your…’cause it was supposed to clip to your belt. The hits clipped to the clip, the hit. But they did…it was…as Adam once said, they make up for in personality. It was like a tiny record collection you could take with you anywhere. You had 1,000 Miles, Survivor, Complicated, it looks like a little Avril Lab…Lavigne. Not Labine. NSYNC, Britney, Don’t Go…I think I have Don’t Go Chasing Waterfalls here or somewhere, or 60 seconds of it. So, let’s see…but yeah, once iPods appeared and the iPod mini, that was when HitClips started to move away.

Times changed, and HitClips player was twenty bucks, but the cartridges were $3.99, which…while iTunes was selling songs at $0.99. Now today, 70 million songs on Spotify cost $9.99 a month, which Adam did the math; it doesn’t even…it’s pretty confusing. But everybody has nostalgia about music, right? A lot of us have records. Some of us buy records and we never play them. That’s Scoots. So, you could get a HitClips player, listen to 60 seconds of Hero through a single earbud. You could even watch this video Adam has on Radio…on Night Water. So, yeah, it’s a little bit about…what was the question, Scoots? That’s a great one. I don’t know. I think it was whatever happened to HitClips or something. Oh, sorry, I didn’t…how did people used to listen to music before Spotify?

We answered it; HitClips or other means, cassette tapes, CDs, but portable. Those were…HitClips were way more portable than those things. Is there a cool way to let people know what kind of music I listen to? Maybe some sort of keychain contraption? Oh boy, talk about a contraption. That’s HitClips here on Radio Night…a reminder; you’re listening to Radio Night Water. S…what was it? NWQ. You’re tuned to Radio Night Water on your radio dial. Another question came in about HitClips that we accidentally answered without asking is that you’ll have to check the math using the link here for Radio Night Water. That’s NWQ. KNWQ…for now, we’ll pretend we’re K…I remember when I learned this in university; K means west of the Mississippi and W means east of the Mississippi. WNWQ.

I like that, ‘cause it has two…double the Ws, but only one 25% water. 25% night, 25% water, 25% questions, and 25% so you know we’re…that Night Water is east of the Mississippi. WNWQ. Based on the monthly subscription cost, how much would the value of a single song be on Spotify? Well, look it up at Night Water. Alright, let’s get into late night vibes. Questions about late night vibes always come up in the Night Water. In the water in the night, the fleeting frustrations of the diary I read. We’re looking up night vibes, and this is NWC. What are late-night vibes? Of course, let’s start there, here on Radio Night Water. Oh, this is one; it’s a water cooler here. Adam says this is back in August 2021. Trying to infuse late…Night Water with more late-night vibes.

Cutting the late-night vibes into thin slices and plopping them in a jug, pouring that pure filtered Night Water to soak up the vibes. So, Night Water readers, tell us about your Night Water vibes. Thomas says the night is dark and still. It’s a great chance to make some time for oneself. What’s so special about late-night vibes for me, however, is it’s the chance to really experience a film or piece of music. The distractions of the rest of the world are muted. No one’s texting, no one’s posting. This type of undivided attention is rare these days. Christine B. says our senior night vibes are TV until 10:00 PM, some time to read in bed, then lights out. Retirement night vibes are like that. Grant S. says when everyone else in the apartment is asleep and you get the undivided attention of the cat.

When all the other lights on your block are off, when you can watch, play, listen to something you’d be embarrassed to in front of your partner. That’s late-night vibes. You can catch them here at Radio Night Water. W…whatever, WNWQ, Radio Night Water. Jim E. says to me, late-night vibes are watching…re-watching Superbad by yourself on a Tuesday night. That movie really stands the test of time. Chloe comes in and says it’s not late, per se, but already quiet. The neighborhood is getting quieter; the cats have chosen their sleeping spots. The upstairs neighbors have finally stopped stomping around. Unidentifiable sounds in a creaky, old apartment. The dishwasher…oh boy, that’s a classic sound here on Radio Night Water. Oh boy, the whirring of the dishwasher erasing the remnants of today’s meals.

The same apartment across the street with its lights on deep into the night, peering out onto the street below, owners hoping their dogs will pee one last time before morning. Finally, coming from what I believe is the patron saint of Radio Night Water, Patrick. When I think about late-night vibes, I think about mellowing out and having a session, enjoying a beverage, a snack, a YouTube video about Alexander the Great’s failures in the East. A cool breeze, a car being way too down…loud down North Willard Street, bothering everyone on the block. A basil plant by the sink, the changing seasons, the rejection of that reality. I just want Steve Irwin back. Is it time? Is time a trap or a spontaneous gift?

Sixty years in a history book is treated like a short period of time and a long process if you’re lucky to live in the time of greatness, or at least an overture to one coming. Sixty years is nothing to the history book. How do we make terms with everything we need to do in that time? How long could that possibly be enough? Yet every night, I vibe. Adam calls it back and yet, every night I vibe, and oh boy, Patrick, you might be the patron saint of Sleep With Me listeners’ brains, because that sounds like a late-night vibe here around Sleep With Me. So, we hope that answers your question what are late-night vibes here on Radio Night Water, W…Night Water…NWQ, Radio Night Water. Oh boy. You know, this is one of the articles that really got me hooked on Night Water, and we’re not even kidding.

I remember reading this; it was the summer of 2021. I felt like I could see straight into Adam’s soul, because when you’re talking compost, you’re talking Night Water. Not all of this…there’s…some of this is loamy content for a sleep podcast, and some of it’s just loamy for compost, so we’ll stick to it, but Adam writes an opening paragraph. It’s better fit for the daytime, or at night with the creaky floors and a dog nearby. An interesting novel, but then he goes into talking about his fascination with being in Vermont and watching the food and newspaper and cardboard and grass clippings all become dirt. Vermont led the way as it does with a lot of things about putting food scraps in the trash, meaning you had to compost them at home or bring them to drop-off points around the state. Sounds familiar here in California.

His parents got a large, black plastic cube for the backyard which was slowly filling with food scraps and other compostable materials. Not long ago, Adam and Chloe were up there in Vermont, tending…is loam the…I love saying loamy, so I’ll keep saying it. Oh boy, phononay phone, I’m a loamy loam. Oh, give me a home, where in loam I can roam. Maybe I’ll even write a cone and…you know, but…a cone for my loam. Okay, so, digging coffee grounds out of K-Cups, add the nitrogen, torn-up newspapers, even though newspapers are harder and harder to find for the carbon. Caterpillars have been in the cube, getting ready to become moths. They even checked the compost thermometer, an elongated metal rod.

It looks like it fell down the earth from a giant BBQ and it was a steady 90 degrees Fahrenheit, but Adam needed it active where the bacteria thrives, but not too hot, ‘cause if the bacteria’s too hot, too hot bacti, your bacteria’s gonna run away, baby. So, a delicate silence to get that nitrogen-rich green materials, carbon-rich brown, aeration, moistness, oh boy. Oh boy, does car…oh boy, does talking compost look good on you, baby. Get one of these off and you’ll stray further and further from the active past, but back in New York, Adam still looks at it and says, I could be composting this thing, but it goes in the trash. Times changed in the 19…you know, 2020, 2021, 2022. Will compost return to the home of WN…Night…WNWQ? Wait, did I…? Yeah, no, WNWQ.

Maybe you could stick a thermometer right in the center of the city. Oh boy, I feel like I’m watching a noir film now, and that’s how their opening paragraph went as well, and discover we’ve gone from steady to active to virgin on hot. Verging. It’s hot hard to feel like we’re just living on the top with things piled on the sidewalk for hours, waiting for pickup in the heat. Oh boy, in the summer, it’s not easy. But glasses, Adam posited, he broke a glass that was once a wedding gift to his parents. The glass made up of natural materials, but not compostable. Has to get to 1000 degrees Fahrenheit. It’ll take over a million years to break down naturally. It’ll be there for a while. Who knows? When a compost pile gets too hot, though, here’s the last tip; you can split it and spray water on it in hopes of cooling it down.

But what else? What else can you do, we ask? Well, we could ask some more questions here on WNWQ. It’s Radio Night Water. Let’s see here. Well, this is another one, and this may…was this the first article at Night Water? Oh boy, is this one…now, Adam and I have talked about visiting this place in person, but some really good looking guy from Disney or Nickelodeon got there first. But this was back…oh wow, Valentine’s Day. Oh wait, does anybody know…? Don’t let me know ‘cause it’ll be too late. Is Valentine’s Day in February or…? It’s in February 12? I always get February 12 and 14 mixed up. Not a problem for me, ‘cause it doesn’t matter anyway. My Valentine’s my laundry. But this was a great article, classic WNWQ. If you check out one article based on my…check this one out, too…check out, too.

I may just read through this one here, because it’s so good. This is classic Night Water. Babyland General Gazette. I guess I’ll paraphrase, too, but Adam came up with about a dozen possible names for the newsletter before settling on Night Water, and one of them was the Babyland General Gazette. Babyland General Hospital, if you didn’t already know it…I wonder when this is gonna come out, because I’m having…but this is a interesting little…I gotta make it about me, ‘cause it’s just my…that’s where my tangents come from. So, we’re working on Spice Friends, Episode 7, and that has a Cabbage Patch situation in it. Not someone doing the Cabbage Patch. So, hopefully this is some sort of great synchronicity. I didn’t even realize it.

So, we’re really…I love it when the…I love it when a plan comes together, somebody once said. Okay, so, if you don’t already know it, Babyland General’s where Cabbage Patch Kids are born, both literally and metaphorically. It’s also a mecca for Cabbage Patch Kids fans. Adam even included a picture from the Cabbage Patch Kids website, a masterpiece. It is both…the picture is interest…I wanted to say it was surreal, but there’s no surreality to it. On the right side is…it’s…it looks like it’s a combination of photograph, computerized art, paper art, and hand-drawn art, which is also strange. Also layers of photographs. So, the back…the far-background in the entire photo is like, speaking of loamy. Like, a rich area very green, but…verdant, but it looks like it’s a few different ecosystems.

Some of it looks near-tropical and some of it looks like the southern United States. There’s also a rolling hill of cabbage patch on the right, and a stork that’s carrying a baby just like a stork. The stork looks computer generated and kind of unreal. It’s also being lit from below. I can’t tell if it’s the stork’s head…it…maybe have some sort of other being riding on the back of it, a different kind of…I don’t know. Is this a pastiche of different green hills? Dominating the center background is a gigantic tree, and I don’t know anything about Cabbage Patch lore. Hopefully we’ll learn more here…is a gigantic tree, a very thick tree. The tree has leaves, but it also has…I don’t even know, a combination of Christmas decorations, Christmas lights, some of which are on, and then figurines that don’t seem to have anything to do with Cabbage Patches.

Or they could be living beings; I have no idea. They look like rabbits. Bizarre, bizarre. Then in the center of the photo is a nurse who looks like someone you might see on a anthology TV show about a zone that happens at twilight. She has a look on her face like she’s on one of those…yeah, that show that’s…Zoning out at Twilight. She says, I’ve awoken in this photo. I’m a nurse holding a Cabbage Patch newborn who’s looking…both of them are looking straight at the camera. To the right of the baby Cabbage Patch newborn is what looks like — and I’m trying to figure out a way to describe this — an emerald fluid in a…something you’d see when you go…in a thing, a capsule that’s used to deliver the fluid to people who need it, through…and there’s a hose coming from the…and it’s not just emerald; it’s the color…not a…the color of an emerald gem.

It’s even sparkling. Below that is a cabbage patch of Cabbage Patch babies, some of which are frowning, or all of them are frowning. There’s probably…let’s just count, here. I mean, it won’t be accurate ‘cause I’m not…one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve…sixteen, seventeen, eighteen…at least twenty-one. Oh no, there’s more on the sides. Somewhere around twenty-five to thirty. One, it looks like she may have plucked the baby she’s holding from a empty cabbage patch, or cabbage…whatever to her right. There’s a lot of kids. Instead of a cabbage, there’s the head of a child, which we…well, let’s read more, because the more time we spend with this picture, the further off the rails it goes here on Radio Night Water, WNWQ, your late-night vibes coming in confusing.

I forgot…I think we were supposed to answer a question. We’re answering it, but we’ll get the question later, or I forgot what it was. One question would be how’d you get the name Night Water, and two, what…really, are you serious? After we answer this, that’ll probably be the question. So, Babyland General’s the flagship store of the…for the Cabbage Patch Kids. It was once a popular brand of baby’s dolls. Kind of happened just before Scoots’ time, or I existed then, but…1983…oh, there’s also a Black Friday…the Starkid musical was in…also satirizes it, I would say. I watched that this holiday season. The 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Jingle All the Way, then yeah, Black Friday with…and then a certain episode of Spice Friends 7, maybe.

Hasn’t been recorded yet, but…and, you know, it…there was a fervor around these…acquiring these dolls. While the dolls, according to Adam, no longer inspire that same fervor, they do still have plenty of rabid fans. The hospital pre-2020 restrictions saw 250,000 people every year. Adam first found out about this doing an old job researching roadside attractions, and he was fascinated and haunted by what he saw. The employees of Babyland General cosplay as medical professionals. The centerpiece of the hospital is Mother Cabbage, a twelve-foot…oh, this must be the tree; twelve-foot tall artificial tree from which all Cabbage Patch Kids are supposedly born and from which a lucky few hand-sew Cabbage Patch children are actually born.

Adam points out Angela Garbes’ essay The Babyland Diaries, which talks about how it plays out. Apparently this is largely unchanged since the 1980s when the New York Times described it. It gets in…it’s very bizarre, very bizarre, and not exactly sensitive to everyone’s situation because of the…just really strange and surreal stuff you gotta read about. So, a very, very strange intersection of commerce and fandom that Adam says I’d love to see it and witness it with my own eyes, Mother Cabbage giving birth. Like the GW Zoo before Tiger King is…it’s very, very interesting. In a primordial soup of my notes on this newsletter, I played around with including some of my favorite elements from my local alt weekly growing up; back page ads, horoscopes, mediocre comics.

But what better place for a newspaper to come from than Babyland General Hospital, an alternative reality onto itself? The aforementioned New York Times piece ends with this kicker; I like Babyland General, said Nurse Gina, because you can come in here and get completely away from New York, the world, and the planet, said an onlooker completing her sentence. Adam says, I don’t think this newsletter will quite succeed in transporting you to…teleporting you to another planet, but I hope you enjoy it. I’d have to agree with that here on Radio Night Water, NWQW. We’ll be back with another question after this break. Alright everybody, thanks for tuning into WNWQ. It’s time for a fake sponsor spot here at NWQ.

We’re proudly supported by me misclicking a link and then clicking the guided access here on WN…WNWQ. You know, what I was asking here on WNWQ, we’re proudly sponsored by talking about stuff at night. How about Pokemon? Now, you may have…now, you may have missed this March of 2021. There’s no better time to read it again, because Adam points out…there’s messages and documentary films that…all of us could be susceptible, especially if they’re taking us on an emotional journey. Adam was particularly influenced by a particular film about a particular fast food place with golden arches, back when they used to say…and I…yes, I think about this, and you could say it in an empowering way. You felt empowered to size it up, yo.

That film talked about…a lot about it, processed…all the stuff going on at the golden arches and so much more. Now, Adam and Chloe have…were talking about years later going vegan, and another documentary called The Game Changers, they did a vegan January, and when January ended, they did not stop. Adam talks about how hey, this change…thought I would miss it; meat, cheese, eggs, but I thought…what I thought was more than it really is. But also, the ideas around TV and advertising. Then Adam’s…another emotional journey just like a documentary here on WNWQ. Is that right? WNW…Night Water questions, yeah, because Adam was talking about that Pokemon Happy Meal, the meal that makes Pokemon happy or Adam happy. The four-pack, maybe the six-pack.

Oh no, it came with a four-pack of collectible Pokemon cards. The past weekend when Adam wrote this in March was the 25th anniversary of Pokemon. Kicked off in Japan in 1996 with a first set of GameBoy games. Since then, it’s spawned anime TV, film series, manga, trading card game, gadgets, toys, clothing, and eight generations of core video game series. $3 million in jet aircraft sales. It’s today’s highest-grossing media franchise. Now, what’s Pokemon’s…? Oh, I forgot I was supposed to ask questions about this. Adam, where do you think Pokemon’s staying power comes from? Well, maybe it’s its lasting appeal, he says, to children and adults. Well, the primary audience will always be kids. Pokemon is carefully dealt in nostalgia. A common theme at night…with Night Water. Oh, that nostalgia.

If there’s a nostalgia picture, it’s probably fit for the evening, right? It probably does…you know what has…if there’s a nostalgia filter, it better have late-night vibes. You know what I’m saying, Patrick? Am I right? Maybe not, because I rarely am. But then the…let’s see, now I got off track. As early as 2004, when it remade the original GameBoy games and the third generation consoles. Remakes are a major feature of the Pokemon video franchise. The remake of the fourth generation games was just announced as part of the 25th anniversary celebration. You know where else we see Pokemon? What I used to like…I think this…was this all the way back…what year was Adam talking about? 2004…let’s check these dates. 1996…I think I…that was one of my go-to things back when it was Pokemon versus Digimon for…I mean, it was kinda like Transformers and the GoBots for me.

I mean, I always said why can’t you like them both? But I used to try to win over…that’s how I’d win over children of that generation. I’d say, tell me who…what do you prefer, Pokemon or Digimon? Digimon…’cause I could say, Digimon may have had a better tagline. Digimon, mondos or whatever they were called in the show. What was my point? I got way off-topic. Oh, I was thinking of…the whole reason that came up is ‘cause I was thinking of the Pokemon balloons. Pokemon balloon, the different ones on…what’s that? The Macy’s Parade. But Adam said unsurprisingly, the vast age range of fans leads to some tension. I don’t know if you knew this, but Post Malone…before Post Malone was swinging…slinging…I don’t know what it is…something, a cool lifestyle. I say, what’s Post Malone doing?

Getting…people are following him around. I wish…he’s like a pied piper, and first he was pying his pipes…not first, but at one point within the…there was a 25th anniversary concert in the…where is it? In the Pokemon community…oh, a virtual Pokemon concert. But let’s get back to talking about those meals of happiness, right? ‘Cause what could go wrong with limited edition collectible Pokemon cards in Happy Meals? Well, nat…lots. Sealed box of cards on eBay…no one…not even going to stores. Collectors, Twitch streamers mass-purchasing meals, selling out locations that…kids not getting them. That’s not happy. To add insult to injury, they didn’t even respect the fact that there was food there.

Now, there’s nothing wrong, Adam says, with adults collecting toys or cards, but it’s frustrating to watch them act as if they’re entitled to have them. He’s saying that, of course, because he likes Pokemon cards. Oh boy, and while vegetarian and vegan options are proliferating in chain restaurants, here’s the thing; McDonalds does not have any non-meat options for Happy Meals, Ronald. What are you do…seriously, Ronald, get it together, man. The best they can do is a bag of apple slices. So, what were his options? You could get the Happy Meal and toss the food, but he wasn’t happy with that, troll eBay and support the people who are doing that. He asked a friend; maybe a friend could help me. If you’re thinking about getting some nuggets, grab me a pack? But Adam felt like he was losing the battle.

Then who came in but mama, and mom said maybe I gotta get a Happy Meal, and the Happy Meal box looked like it was a cute little Pokemon. Has…no more of the Pokemon can fight. Two packs of Pokemon cards to the winner. So, Adam one…well, Adam; two or four…two eight, technically, I guess; eight Pokemon cards? Adam, eight? McDonalds, whatever. I don’t know, one…whatever they say. They used to say that; so many people served. Alright, it’s getting to the end of our broadcast night here on W, I think, WNQW. So, maybe we gotta talk a little bit more about late-night vibes, I think, as I…oh, wait a second, there’s a prop…could the property…how big is…oh boy, we gotta go back. Well, we’ll hold off on our clothes here, ‘cause I didn’t even…I missed this article when it came out.

How big’s the Property Brothers’ media empire, Adam? This is one…as I’ve said, this is one of the shows I watch on an airplane. It’s Shark Tank or Shark Tank-like shows, Property Brothers-type shows, I will watch them on someone else’s screen; not on mine on an airplane. That’s not a…that’s just…I don’t know. It’s like, I actually enjoy it. I’ll probably be editing a podcast watching Property Brothers or Fix That House or whatever on mute. I say hey, do you mind putting the closed captioning on? I’m in Seat, whatever, Seat 24…Seat 21…21A, you could put on the closed captioning? But they never listen because…but it doesn’t matter. I could figure it out, usually. I was thinking of this one I saw, and actually, I had to ask the person about it because they said, what’s go…I don’t know what it was.

I was like, I think a family of people fixing up a house, and it was popular. But anyway, Property Brothers should host a dating show. This is from September 2021. Adam became a big…when things were going on, 2020, 2021, Adam became a big fan of The Bachelor franchise. This wasn’t his first time watching a dating show. He used to watch reruns of The Dating Game on Game Show Network, but Bachelor…The Bachelor is fascinating in a different way. Now, this is a show I don’t watch. I’ve tried to watch it, but I have too many…I don’t know how to watch it ‘cause they either would have…it’s too far into inferior…I say well, am I inferior or superior? Am I gonna make fun of people or am I gonna feel poor…? So, I say let’s just not watch it. But The Bachelor’s fascinating in a different way.

Yeah, there’s a game, winners, losers, but almost everything on the show is pretending that the game does not exist. That takes some mental gymnastics to be successful on the show, and that’s impressive…as impressive as the Olympics. Recently, The Bachelor’s been looking for a new host, and Adam said recruit the Property Brothers. Heck, give them a dating show. So, Jonathan and Drew Scott…from here on, Adam will refer to them collectively as the Property Brothers, a pair of television personalities who play-act at buying and renovating homes for regular people. Now, it’s obvious that their ambitions are much bigger than their namesake show on HGTV. There’s eleven shows, so probably one of the ones I’m talking about in the Property Brother franchise, as well as books, podcasts, even a cruise. Do they…really? A cruise?

Maybe Adam and I could go to the…we could stop at the Cabbage Patch on our way to the Property Brothers cruise. Won’t you take me on a Property Brothers sea cruise? Never been on a cruise, still. I don’t know if it would be a good idea to go on a Property Brothers cruise first. Or if you’re a fan, do you say you’re a Property Bro? If you’re a…you say yo, man, I’m a Property Bro. MamaDrew2, man. Are they twins or brothers? I don’t know. But the Property Brothers even have mentioned wanting a hosted daytime talk show, but to me, that’s child’s play. Do it on…do The Bachelor. Can’t compete, Adam says. A single season of The Bachelor brings in almost $100 million in ad revenue. I think…maybe I’m wrong, but that’s the entire revenue of podcasting…of every podcast in existence or one…even if it’s…no, I guess it’s one-tenth of every podcast out there.

Anyway, what would the Property Brothers dating show look like? Here’s come con…listen up, Hollywood, or wherever the Property Brothers are based. There’s a casual one and a business one. Alex P. Keaton…actually, so, when I’m looking at the mock-up Adam had with the two Property Brothers, one of them looks a lot like my cousin, the casual one. I don’t know if that’s Drew or Tyler. Oh, Jonathan. Jonathan and Drew. Okay, but let’s drop some concepts. How about the Homeowners Dating Game? A homeowner must choose between three suitors, all of…oh, this is good stuff, all of whom will briefly redesign one of the rooms in the home. The suitor who does the best job according to the brief…this is very dating game…as judged by the Property Brothers with the homeowner wins a date.

The homeowner gets three renovated rooms. How about one…two, kinda like the show where you’re in your birthday suit and dating? Renovating and a little bit thinking about stuff and not feeling comfortable. Two individuals leave their lives and go on a series of dates with one another while living in a house they’re renovating with the Property Brothers. If they successfully renovate the house, they split the final sale of the house 50/50, even if their romantic relationship does not work out. But if either one of them leaves the house, unable to take cooperation on high-stakes renovation while dating, they get nothing. This could be good if they…like, I think if they have to have a date every night.

That could be…also, we could get some science…different areas to study that, ‘cause you say okay, first of all, I gotta work all day. I think the Property Brothers…it would be good too if they lived there, or maybe there would be also a documentary. You get a documentary, ‘cause maybe…I mean, I’m not judging the Property Brothers, but if they’re…they would probably leave the house and stay in one of the five-star hotels…whatever town they were in. It’s pretty common in any rider…whatever you call it, to hire somebody like that. So, they’d be staying…let’s just say at Four Seasons, right? It’d be interesting to follow them. It’s not a judgement on them; it’s just usually contractually. Somebody like me; I’d be fighting for a Hyatt, right?

But they’re at that level where they say okay, that’s…just build it into the budget, basically. So, either way, but if you leave, you don’t get anything. That’d be a nice boost, and that would be good for their…they could even…that could be one not as big as The Bachelor. I think Adam’s got a…that’s a viable idea, and that’s more of a…I mean, no offense, but that’s a HGTV idea; Trading Loving Spaces. Oh, boy. Okay, so, a couple who’s been dating for less than a year and don’t live together swap houses and with the help of the Property Brothers, transform the bedroom in two days. But the homeowner does not get a say in the redesign. It’s up to their partner to know their taste and the Property Brothers to keep it PG-13, you know, Adam says. So, that would be interesting.

I also think it would be good…it would be cool because you could…they could do…the cold open could be the person’s react…some of their reactions. You could edit it really interestingly, and…’cause you could ask them…I guess you could set up what they’re wearing during the talking heads interviews or whatever you want to call it. What did they used to call it when I was a intern? SOT? Sound on tape, I think? So, you get them talking and then you know…you don’t know when this…what the interview is coming from, if it’s coming from before they renovated the house, after, or during, or which house it’s even referring to. Now, if anybody wants to reach out to Adam, it’s at nightwater.email. Use the link in our show notes.

The possibilities for Property Brothers dating shows are endless, and their charming personalities will bring any concept to life. Anybody need any hosting tips? Oh, Zooey Deschanel’s the host of the celebrity dating game, and in a relationship with Jonathan, one of the Property Brothers. So yeah, let us know; Warner Bros, Discover, Property Bros, Scott Brothers Global…interested in these concepts? Adam’s ready, man. Okay, let’s close it out here on our broadcast day, extended into…let’s see. Okay, let’s talk about it; when your pumpkin’s out, let’s finish up with some late-night vibes. This question came in from Adam; what goes on the night before Halloween and what did you call it in your hometown? I guess this is from Adam out to the world, though. This is an NWC…WNWQC, Night Water Cooler.

We didn’t get a lot of answers here, so this will give you a chance to interact, to show some love…some Night Water love, is…the night before Halloween, whatever you want to call it. What’s the vibe? Does the sun set before dinner? Are cold winds running down the street? TP hanging on the trees? Alternatively, if you don’t celebrate the night before the Halloween, what’s your Halloween night vibe? Now, Thomas B. said my Halloween vibe is trying to explain my costume to my friends over the music on the dance floor. That’s good stuff. Dylan said TP on the trees and omelettes all over town. I gotta agree; the vibe, I think, is for me, is wind. It’s cold, but it’s not brisk. There’s wind, enough wind to move the leaves down the center of the street. That’s when… if it’s a late-night vibe, that’s when the TP looks good.

Dogs barking, maybe you’re hearing somebody warming up their sound effects from the night before. I don’t know, what about the night after Halloween? When you’re walking your dog, here’s the thing; at least where I live, you gotta keep your eyes open because there’s usually candy that…I guess it was dark; kids are getting in and out of cars, and so, we have a lot of stray candy that has been forgotten, and that doesn’t blow around. The candy…candy doesn’t blow around like it used to. But yeah, I’m trying to think of my other…I mean, mine is hunkering down, lying low, just ‘cause back in my other life, I had some Halloweens I prefer never to…but it’s cute. It’s just too busy for me. I’m trying to think what I did for this Halloween. I guess probably went to…I don’t know what I did.

I know I didn’t do much, and nobody comes to my house. Oh, you know what? I had something. I can’t remember anymore, but I do know the vibe I feel. I like the quiet time, but something else is still going on, so it’s like, maybe the quiet’s interrupted by some teens racing in a car, dealing in pumpkins in a way that could be frustrating, or eggs, if you’re frustrated by those things. But it’s the one or two nights of the year where you say oh, boy. If it’s just eggs and TP and a pumpkin that’s…or jack-o-lantern that’s lost its way, as long as the wind’s blowing and the leaves are scraping, that’s all we need to know. So, that’s it tonight, for tonight’s broadcast at W…what is it? WNWQ, Night Water Radio. To find out more, make sure to post your…some of your night vibes. Night Water vibes on the Night Water water cooler.

Does it say water cooler twice? I already closed it down, the page. Check it out, and hopefully we’ll do another one of these again, ‘cause we got more…you know what? There’s more to drink, more Night Water, maybe. Maybe I shouldn’t drink Night Water. Here, saying goodnight from the WNQW…Q Studios, Radio Night Water. Goodnight.

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